Florentine Heat
by awkward innuendo
Summary: It's our favourite boys' and they're on their honeymoon! The only problem is, is that Kurt and Dave seem to have different ideas on how to spend their time. A fluffy, funny, sexy short fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, err *cough* well I've realised that my fics have been a bit too depressing lately so here's a fluffy, funny one to even out the balance! However, as I can't go cold turkey, try and spot the hidden packet of angst in the first chapter. Personally, I thought it was subtle, but to you, it may be as subtle as Voldemort's uncomfortable face when he hugs Draco Malfoy. Answers on a postcard, or if Postman Pat has taken his annual kite flying holiday, ideas in the review section would be okay too I suppose.**

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><p><strong>Florentine Heat<strong>

Kurt yawned into the rising sun as he looked about his balcony and stared contentedly out on the narrow streets of Florence. The city was just waking up to what promised to be a gloriously warm day. He gazed for a while at the various white vans delivering armfuls of brightly coloured and eclectic flowers to the rustic stalls which were setting up in the Piazza Signoria. Without turning around, he heard the sliding of the glass door open and soon felt the warm skin of his lover's chest covering his smooth back and a slightly stubbled neck leaning on his bare shoulder. His lover's longer than normal wavy hair tickling Kurt's ear as the breeze blew by. Dave inhaled deeply and bowed his head so he could kiss Kurt's shoulder.

"Mmmn. You always smell the best after we've had sex. You've got that kind of musky maleness on your skin and it just makes me want to do that to you all over again..." Dave's hand trailed across Kurt's stomach as he wrapped his arm across the slender man; locking him in place against his chest. Kurt affectionately leaned into the embrace and tangled his fingers into the back of Dave's hair while placing his other arm on top of Dave's. "I've been thinking..." Kurt began.

"Oh I'm sorry babe! Let me just go ahead and fix that for you" and Dave started to nip at any part of the pale expanse of skin that was within his reach.

Kurt giggled and playfully nuzzled him away, squirming futilely in his capture. "You're not going to make me forget THAT easily David...*shudder* even though this plan has worked beautifully for you till now. *Gasp.* We haven't left the room in- ooh not your tongue...s-so wet...so gooood... N-no David Da- Dave-iiiidd" Kurt breathed out in pleasure.

"Well,_ husband_, this is our honeymoon after all and don't you want me?" Dave teased as he dragged his teeth along Kurt's collarbone and laid smirking kisses back up the line again. Kurt couldn't resist when Dave dropped the word 'husband' from his lips, so sweet like honey mixed with popping candy, it made Kurt's insides do fizzy yippee somersaults every time. "Because" Dave continued, humming on Kurt's skin; "_ohh my baby, baby. I want you so, it scares me to death-"._ The low baritone voice of David mixed with the slow tune of Elvis Costello's 'I want you' made Kurt's knees tremble.

"Now that's just plain dirty..."

The sex hungry man smirked and chuckled out "you know I love it filthy" as he thrust his groin roughly into the back of Kurt's boxer clad ass. _"-it's the stupid details that my heart is breaking for. It's the way your shoulder's shake and what they're shaking for..." _Dave started kissing Kurt's now goose pimpled shoulder up to the top of his arms, the fine hairs almost invisible, save for the soft feel of them under Dave's lips.

"No, but, David, we've been in Florence since...since-" "_or you undressing..." _Kurt's mind was seriously lacking in their normal mental functions as Dave's hand began moving against Kurt's stomach. "Since...oh, and we haven't even been to the...the..."

Dave's hand started to drop ever so slowly down to the waist band of Kurt's underpants, his fingers just brushing along the flat skin between Kurt's stomach and groin. _"I want you." _Dave murmured against his jaw, before he kissed to the side of Kurt's open and waiting lips. Kurt's head fell backwards and a quiet, low moan escaped from his traitorous lips.

Dave knew exactly where Kurt wanted to go, but he would be damned if he foiled his own 3-step seduction strategy. He could feel Kurt quickly losing his will as he continued to charm and Dave was loving every second of it. He was waiting in smug confidence for those inevitable, sexy syllables to melt out of Kurt's mouth; he was waiting for the 'fuck it' to come. '_Oh yeah_,' Dave thought, _'I have totally won this! I've got victory wrapped up in a nice little parcel with Buzz Lightyear stickers on top and a My Little Pony ribbon tying it up in a gay-as-rainbows pink bow. Awesome!'_

There was a smart wrap on the door. The unexpected interruption caused Dave to let out an uncharacteristically girly "meep!" and his heart, if this was possible, quickened in pace. Kurt used Dave's default response which appears when he gets caught in the middle of scheming (it was his classic 'guilty school kid caught with his trousers down' look), to swiftly slip out of his grasp and wrench open the heavy wooden door.

"Buongiorno Mr Hummel!" the motherly hotel keeper greeted brightly in a thick Italian accent as she embraced Kurt to her bosom. "Err, I have arrived to give you the err wakeup call you asked for yesterday evening si?"

"Perfetto! Grazie signora. Thank you so very, very much!" Despite the fact that Kurt's cheeks were red and currently squashed between the old lady's hand and breasts, the warmth of Kurt's words were issued from the deepest hollows of his heart and he had to fight off the urge to cuddle into her, purely because the unavoidable result would be suffocation. And David would never forgive him for that.

"Va bene, Ciao bambino mio!" At that, the housekeeper kissed the top of Kurt's head and departed. However, this was not before she cast an angry glare towards Dave who, in turn, blushed bright crimson and looked away.

"You know, the only reason she hates me is because she loves you so frikin' much!" Dave defended with an air of defiance. He made sure, of course, that she had gone down the elevator first.

"Jealous David? And anyway, you're telling me it has nothing to do with the fact that in the first hour of meeting her you managed to call her mother fat, her daughter a whore and her grandson an eunuch?"

"Hey, I never said I could speak Italian."

"Eunuch! Of all the phrases you could mumble from your 'totally awesome' hand-made phrase book...un eunuco!"

"I knew I should never have trusted Az..." Dave paused and titled his head as if he was musing on a difficult philosophical issue. "For the record, the kid was kind of a eunuch, in a way..."

"You mean because her grandson was actually a girl?"

"Yeah!" Dave beamed.

Kurt face-palmed and then suddenly remembered why he called the housekeeper up in the first place. Slowly, he removed his hand from his forehead, a soft smile curling upon his lips. "So. Now that my lovely lady has given me space to gather my thoughts, I can now tell you that I'm leaving for the Uffizi gallery after breakfast with or without you, okay bye!" When Kurt first started his speech, Dave immediately remembered where this would head and started making his way towards Kurt, however by the end, Kurt was legging it across the suite, his bare feet making pit-pat noises as he raced across the cold stone flooring, shouting his orders over his shoulder and slamming the bathroom door shut before Dave could reach him. Kurt giggled breathless and rested his weight on the door. He could hear the muffled thump of Dave's head as it banged on the opposite side. "I was _so close!_" Dave groaned.

"Oh, you're always" he coughed and let out a fake groan "_'so close',_ David" implying it in a sexually innuendo-like way. Dave burst out laughing behind the door, his voice deep and husky "Now who's just plain dirty?" he said emphasising his last two words.

Kurt grinned impishly to himself and blasted the shower in hope of drowning out Dave's sexually frustrated whines and his own growing hard-on.

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><p><strong>Well that was the end of part one! It was originally going to be a one shot, but it felt too long, so this would probably be split into two parts. It's the final part that earns this story the M rating. Please excuse the Italian if it had mistakes! Tune in again for more hilarity, more Florence and more of Dave trying to get into Kurt's pants!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Ahoy there my amigos! It is a miserable rainy day here in London; so I thought I'd escape to a sunnier part of the world and see how Dave and Kurt are faring. I think this may turn into a 4-part story or so, but we'll see how it goes.**

**Oh! And I have realised that I'm rubbish at the whole 'hidden angst' game so don't worry, I won't put you through any more of those. In case anyone wanted to know, the last hidden packet was in Elvis Costello's 'I want you' lyrics. The lyrics are brilliant and I can't do them justice, but it starts off with the narrator proclaiming his love to this woman, however we soon realise that their relationship is over and she is now with some other douche, and even though it pains him to think on those two, he still does and wants to know all the intimate details of this new sexual relationship and it ends with him sadly continuing to proclaim his almost undying/ intense love to this woman. Anyway that's a really brief and simple summary of a whopping 6 minute song and although it doesn't fit with this AU of Kurt and Dave, it kind of fits in with what I think Dave and Kurt's relationship is like by the end of the canon. And finally (gosh this is a long intro!) I recommend listening to the song if any of you have spare time kicking around, because Costello is an amazing artist. Haha! Right! Time to get stuck in!**

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><p>"Look David!" Kurt squealed excitedly, bouncing up and down and lightly clapping his hands together. "We're entering the Botticelli room! Doesn't being immersed in all this culture and unbelievable talent make you feel so...stimulated?" He paused and waited for Dave's response, but the only difference in David's silence was an increase of rustling from the map, so he didn't bother to turn around. "I mean I know that a woman's form doesn't exactly appeal to me" Kurt continued regardless "but there is something about 'The birth of Venus' that makes me just go 'wow'!" Kurt chuckled softly to himself; "And I know, I know. You're going to say it is so cliché to head straight for Botticelli's most famous painting when there are so many great works of his, but God, does it take my breath away. Don't you agree?" At last Kurt couldn't go on talking to himself like a crazy person, so he turned round and looked expectantly at David who, surprisingly, had his head just inches away from the gallery map, studying it intently.<p>

Kurt's expression turned from that of curiosity to one of understanding as he sympathetically and touched Dave's bicep and said gently; "Now David, we all know that you are gay, but a woman's body shouldn't freak you out that much sweetheart." A soft grunt was all the response Dave gave before he orientated the map 30 degrees to the left and then clasped Kurt's hand, which was now trailing down his forearm in defeat, into his own bigger palms. "Okay babe, I heard you loud and clear, come on; I've found just the place." At that, Dave began to tug on Kurt's hand, wanting him to follow with a determined, if slightly flushed, expression on his face.

"Wait! What place?"

Dave let out an exasperated sigh and explained like it was obvious; "_You_ said 'stimulated', and then something, something 'appeal to me' and 'make me just go wow'. So I figured you wanted me to, you know," he wiggled his eyebrows comically "'take your breath away'." and Dave continued to pull on Kurt's hand, his grin growing wider with every pull back of resistance from Kurt.

"I should have known that from everything I said, y_ou _would interpret anything vaguely suggestive as me saying I want sex with you right here on this floor."

"No! Not this floor specifically!" Dave looked wounded for a brief second before his lips couldn't hold back the grin he was forming; "It's _actually_ another floor just down the hall, turn to the left and then back down a flight of stairs."

"I will not have sex with you David!" Kurt stated louder than necessary. Suddenly there were sounds of shuffling feet from behind and Kurt turned his head to the side, just catching a glimpse of a few tourists moving away. He tilted his lowered head back to David and found Dave's muscular frame shaking by his side as he tried hard to keep his laughter from exploding out.

Unfortunately, Dave never had much self restraint and a giggle escaped. Though, in his attempt to mask the sound with a coughing fit, it made Dave laugh more furiously at his pathetic attempt and soon, the ridiculously unconvincing coughs morphed into chest barrelling laughs. Kurt twisted his body to face him and narrowed his eyes. "I'm sorry babe! But that" a splutter of laughter "was too funny!" Kurt held on to his glare a second more, until he sighed and let his shoulders sink, turning away from the artwork on the wall.

Dave caught Kurt's dejected face and the insides of his chest ached. He let out a small groan; David could never stand seeing Kurt sad. So, without a moment's more hesitation, Dave grabbed Kurt into a bear hug; one hand secured around Kurt's waist, the other playing tenderly with the back of Kurt's hair. "Now, let's see, where are we?" Dave mused into the top of the slightly smaller man's head; "Ah, you've taken me to the Botticelli paintings. How very curious..." His voice turned lower and more gravelly, soothing Kurt's hurt. Dave turned around, taking an unwilling Kurt with him to face 'The birth of Venus'. "Oh! You're right; she is beautiful. But don't worry; she hasn't got a scratch on you. To be honest, I think it may be her six-pack that draws me in." The affectionate rumble of Dave's chuckle drew Kurt to turn his head from its position of being squashed flat into Dave's Pecs, to lay his ear against Dave's chest; hearing the vibrations of his voice mixed with the beating of his heart. "Though, as I said before, it is extremely strange that we're in this particular room, it's like the sisters of fate has brought us here" Dave continued.

As Dave had hoped, Kurt's interest had been sufficiently piqued and Kurt waited in silence for Dave to elaborate. Dave milked the anticipation for all it was worth and he paused in the silence, basking at how he had Kurt hooked on him.

Kurt huffed out a whisper of a laugh and nudged Dave's chest with his head, "in your own time then."

"Well whenever I see a Botticelli, I'm always reminded of who he was apprenticed by-it was this old guy called Fra Filippo Lippi. And the story with him is that one day while he was living near Florence, he met this absolutely gorgeous woman who was, like, being guarded by nuns. You know, it was a damsel in distress kind of scenario." Dave shook his head absently, his lips brushing back and forth across Kurt's scented hair. Dave shivered and held Kurt closer, "Damn Kurt, you smell so hot right now."

The heat of Dave's mouth as he breathed out and licked his lips sent waves of arousal through Kurt's hair and down his neck. Dave's mouth lingered a while and his hand that was still playing with Kurt's hair travelled down and began stroking lazy lines across Kurt's neck. Dave cleared his throat and tried to pick up his bearings;

"And anyway, when Lippi laid eyes on this woman, he asked the nuns if she could be used in one of his paintings- I think he wanted her to be his Madonna. And of course, how could the nuns say no to her being the Virgin Mary! It would be like them lifting up their skirts and flashing Jesus before peeing in the holy water or something! But here's the interesting part," Dave's voice suddenly turned coy "what he really did was abduct her and had bed banging sex with this chick all day and all night! ...So like I said, it's like Fate trying to send us a message..."

The hand that was gripped around Kurt's waist went ever so unsubtly down to Kurt's ass and his fingers edged lower in between Kurt's legs.

"...and it's very rude not to carry out an order from the three sisters." He smirked at the panicked reaction he got from the other tourist's when they were caught looking. He loved how almost all of them swivelled away to feign intent interest at a random picture once Dave spotted them, only to glance back to the couple when Dave looked away. He ignored the tourists for a bit and concentrated fully on Kurt's body. He could feel Kurt's gulp and waited patiently for Kurt's admission as he continued to tease Kurt's body with his experienced hands.

Meanwhile, the little Mario-like David's in Dave's head were doing floor gymnastics with those really long ribbons floating around everywhere as he thought _'score! My 3-step seduction strategy is on fire! It may have failed the last time because of that stupid (but really fucking scary) mother of a eunuch housekeeper interrupted my plot, but now it's just you and me Kurt, and no one can resist my awesome powers!'_ He continued to rub his fingers against the area of denim that was clothing Kurt's balls and allowed his own groin to heat up with expectancy.

Kurt tilted his head up and kissed Dave's cheek sweetly "you never stop surprising me," Kurt whispered as he unclasped his moulded body from Dave and entwined their fingers together, "I'm still not going to have sex with you."

He continued in a louder, more playful voice "Not with all these Virgin Mary's watching. That's just," he shuddered, "creepy!"

He left David with a dumbfounded expression on his face and the map crumpled by his feet, as Kurt strutted into the adjoining room, casting one sly glance and wink back. "God damn it!" Dave grumbled as he scuffed his foot along the floor. _'I almost had him this time! What the hell use is being all sexy and knowledgeable if it can't get you laid! This round may go to you Hummel, but just you wait, you won't be able to resist me for long. Have you seen yourself lately: you're frikin' smoking! Heh heh. Let the challenge begin!'_


	3. Chapter 3

Walking out from the gallery, the midday heat was like a punch in the face, and the lovers tried to readjust their sun glassed eyes to the vapours of heat which were rising like inverted rain from the sidewalks.

"Right!" said Kurt, raising a sleeveless arm and pointing directly north; "to the Duomo!"

Dave stilled Kurt's pointing hand which seemed to have taken a hold on the rest of Kurt's body and was pulling him forwards; "Kurt. Babe. I admire your spunk, but do you really want to attack the Duomo in this heat? Besides, I'm fucking starving."

The guy that could pull off the fanny pack strapped to his hips like it should be in next season's Vogue, wavered in his determination. "I suppose you're right."

Dave punched the air and let out a little 'yes!' "Oh, I'm always right babe! And you know what else I'm right about?"

"What's that?" Kurt humoured.

"Our hotel room has air conditioning."

Kurt let out one sharp laugh and smirked; "keep walking air-con."

They strolled around a couple of side alleys until they spotted a small trattoria squeezed between two larger buildings that burst into the narrow lane and blocked out the sun's heat. The two imposing figures housing this small restaurant struck Kurt and he drew toward the window pane. Inside, he saw a simply decorated room with intimate wooden tables laid out in a random fashion across the floor and an open stone kitchen at the very back, proudly displaying the iconic pizza kiln.

Wandering in, they were instantly greeted by a sandy blond haired young man who was in the process of stretching his ear lobe with a medium sized electric orange buffalo horn spiral. His eyes flitted briefly up and down David's body and he shifted his weight forward, drawing himself taller and nearer to Dave.

"Er hi." David mumbled, colouring slightly at the closeness but didn't move back.

The waiter's smile broadened to reveal a flash of pearly white teeth, impossibly straight and levelled. "Hello there sir, table for..." he titled his head behind Dave's towering form and looked disappointedly at Kurt "...two?"

Dave gave a playful nod and wink to the man and they were taken to a table by the wall. "Here you are sir, when you are ready, call me. My name is Nikko." He spoke to David and attempted to awkwardly pull off a reciprocating smile and wink as he left, stumbling over his feet. Kurt watched the scene with an odd mix of curiosity and surprise but made no comment, deciding instead to read the menu. Dave watched Kurt for a second, mind ticking over, before he followed suit, grinning and absently biting the skin by his nail.

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><p>Toward the end of the meal, Kurt moved the conversation on with a "so..." as he picked at the remains of his warm salad; "when did you get so clued up on art?"<p>

"Meh, I was dating this guy in College and he was really into that whole culture thing and I reckoned it was the fastest way to get into his paint stained jeans." Dave paused to take down a chilled swig of Peroni, "Eventually, I found some stuff really interesting and they just stuck I guess." Dave ended with a shrug and stuffed a large mouthful of pizza into his mouth.

"Oh..." Kurt speared a loose leaf from his plate and shifted it back and forth across the plate "I had no idea you'd dated an artist in College." Kurt tried to sound casual and off hand, but he failed disastrously, so he kept his eyes on his food, only chancing one swift glance up. He saw David looking up from his plate and cautiously swallowed the ball of pizza in his mouth. Dave put his fork down and laid his hands on his lap, slowly straightening up.

"Yeah I did...never pegged you as the jealous type, babe" Dave responded carefully, starting to become highly entertained with Kurt's reaction.

"Me! Jealous! Don't be ridiculous David. I was just making conversation." Kurt shot back a little too quickly and shifted his eyes to the left and right.

Dave partially ran his hand through the side of his hair and then brought the fist forward to rest on his mouth, playfully biting down on the pad of his thumb, elbow leaning on the table. He closed his eyes briefly and breathed out a laugh. Shaking his head he replied "I only dated him of a couple of weeks, so I didn't think it really mattered. We broke up when I realised he was still in love with his old boyfriend." He continued after a pause "you know, I always thought his old boyfriend was part of the reason he dated me in the first place. He was called David too. That way" he huffed out a laugh, but there was no bitterness in it "I couldn't tell when he was orgasming, whose name he called out for."

"Oh sweetheart..." Kurt's eyes went wide and doe-like as he moved his fingers to cup Dave's check and stroke his bottom lip gently with his thumb. Dave flicked the tip of his tongue out and wet Kurt's digit mischievously. "Yeah, he was like, 'the love of my life' Kurt." Dave teased "I may need you to make me feel better in that bathroom over there. My confidence is all crushed and I need you to show me how much you love me. Right here. Right now." False pain staining his eyes.

Kurt fixed on an intense stare and edged his thumb minutely deeper into Dave's silky wet mouth as he continued to rub his lip red raw. "David, you should've known from the first moment we met after high school, how much and how instantly I loved you. Christ! I'm now forever banned from attending another St Patrick's Day parade in the tri-state area because I got in a fight with that bouncer who had you in a headlock on top of that leprechaun float! Sweetheart, if that's not love, well; this world has turned into ruin and ashes."

"...You were pretty badass babe."

"I know."

"Though there was always one thing I couldn't figure out; how did you manage to commandeer that pirate ship AND get the actors on the float to help with my rescue?"

"I have my ways." Kurt grinned mysteriously before abruptly letting out a yawn and leaning back into his seat. "Oh and David?"

"Yeah?"

"You can stop palming my dick now. But that did feel really good; my jeans are really tight and my cock was tucked in at the wrong angle, but you sorted that out for me now. Thanks." Kurt stated with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Dave sighed and looked up at Kurt through his lashes with a helpless expression "that gets me nothing? Not even a small groan of pleasure? Not even a shudder of ecstasy?"

Kurt giggled and shook his head childishly "Nope! By the way" Kurt suddenly turning inquisitive "what was your ex's name?"

"Wes."

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><p>An extremely disgruntled Nikko soon marched over after this passionate exchange and started clearing the table. "Anything else sir?"<p>

"Yeah, two espresso's please." Dave replied, licking his lips at where Kurt's thumb used to be. The waiter followed the movements of Dave flexible muscle across his now bloated lips, which caused him to have trouble swallowing. "Certainly sir" he croaked, his throat parched and voice rough.

"You're going to kill that boy soon" Kurt smirked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Dave replied with fake innocence.

Kurt just rolled his eyes and turned his head toward the waiter who was busy organising their drinks with a thoughtful look on his face. "What's with the espressos? Trying to make sure I don't sleep right through" Kurt coughed, raising one eyebrow and cocked his head to the side "_something?" _

"Yeah" Dave replied "That damn Duomo! If I have to go through it, you don't get away snoozing."

The waiter returned to the table with two full cups of black espresso, he hesitated for a moment before he placed the cups on the table and took a swift and surprising leave without even peeking at Dave. Dave shrugged and lifted up his cup. However just as soon as he lifted the cup, he placed it back down again, a strange smile passing his face.

"So, er, are you sure I can't tempt you with my offer of the bathroom stall?" Dave tried again.

"No David."

"Well, just so you know, I'm in great demand."

The rim of Kurt's drink paused by his mouth as he gave Dave a steady look and placed his cup back on the saucer. "If you are referring to that twink over there, you are sadly mistaken David. _Please. _Do you expect _me_ to see _him _as my competition? He's at least ten years younger than you, he's probably just found out he has a fetish for bears, making you fit his green fantasy perfectly, and lastly he's probably so inexperienced, he wouldn't even know the difference between his prostate and his penis." Kurt finished his bitch K.O by tossing back his espresso and swallowing in one. In his attempt to seem suave, Kurt resisted the urge to scream girlishly as the steaming liquid burned the insides of his throat. Instead he chose to go for the Clint Eastwood eye squint into the distance to make him seem manly.

"I am now officially scared of you Kurt." Dave was currently leaning backwards on his chair, eyebrows lost somewhere up in his hair and a terrified expression on his face. Kurt smirked and indicated for the bill as Dave still toyed with his small cup. "But before you make any rash judgements on him, you might want to see this" Dave casually lifted up his cup to drink down his remaining liquid and revealed a small folded paper in his saucer. Never taking his golden eyes off Kurt, he watched the smaller man take the bait and subtly pick up the scrap of paper, opening it under the table.

Kurt gazed at the numbers and kisses for a long second, face guarded and unreadable. In his peripheral vision, Dave noted that the waiter was returning back to the table to give them their bill, his walk was slightly nervous.

"He may be able to give you his number..." Kurt murmured half to himself "but he can't give you this:" At that Kurt screwed the paper up, tossing it to the floor and cast a wicked grin toward a confused Dave. He grabbed Dave by the shirt and thrust his tongue straight through Dave's teeth, working their jaws and pressing desperately closer to each other with every twist of tongue. Kurt brought his hand to the inside of Dave's thigh and started to massage the tight muscles there that were so capable of lifting Kurt up and pinning him down at Dave's will. The waiter blushed a deep crimson and had to free his hands from the small metal dish holding the bill by clattering it onto the table. He used his hands' new found freedom to grip the table edges and steady himself as he watched upon the hot man kisses, unable to look away. At this point, Kurt may have deliberately moaned over whorishly into Dave's mouth and parted their mouth's just slightly so, to reveal their tongue's twining together for the benefit of Nikko, but it's not as if Dave cared. For, at that moment, Dave's conscience was firmly gagged and bound in his dick and had prison guards of 'God, I need to have sex soon' and 'Kurt sounds so fucking hot right now'.

There was a strangled groaning sound and the table shuddered. Nikko's face altered instantly from the deep red to white and then back again as he left the table and made a bee line for the staff toilets.

Kurt head regretfully drew backwards from Dave's lips, however David would not have their mouth's separated, so talking against Dave's lips, his eyelids barely open, Kurt tried hard to articulate the words "our room has air conditioning you say?"

Dave's eyes shot open and pierced straight into Kurt's, his pupils black with arousal and contrasted gorgeously with the faint red of Dave's cheeks. "The Duomo?" Dave breathed against Kurt's lips; a weary anticipation of disappointment filming over his lust fuelled eyes.

Kurt titled his head to the side and drew out a long, lazy kiss from his lover. "Fuck the Duomo" Kurt replied.

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><p><strong>So happy I could include a Warbler in the wild! Only one more part to go, so look out and tune in for the final episode! Piece out my amigos! :)<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Buongiorno dear fellows of Glee, I hope you're currently having a marvellous day! At long last, the final instalment of 'Florentine Heat' has been written, checked and deemed highly unsuitable for innocent and extremely conservative minds... perfect. Sorry it took ages, but this is a killer long chapter, so! Without further ado, Kurt and Dave are ready and waiting for you to read about their daftly sexy shenanigans.**

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><p>'<em>Heh heh you evil devil, you! My 3-step seduction strategy worked! About damn time too. Oh you are a GENIUS Davey boy; laying the bait and making Kurt jealous...gotta thank that waiter for finding me irresistible, but then, I am pretty awesome. The only way this can go wrong is if you take a gun, clean it, load it, line it up and shoot yourself in the foot with it.' <em>Were the first thoughts of Dave as Kurt pushed him with surprising force into the hotel lift. The absolute strength of impact caused Dave to let out an involuntary breath as his back crashed against the metallic wall._ 'God Kurt looks sexy with his eyes all dark and angry and possessive. I mean when other guys check Kurt out (before I punch three shades of blue in their face) all they see is a nice piece of effeminate ass. But what they forget is that he is a man and not some fragile chi-.'_ Dave's thoughts stutter and crash as he lets out a husky groan, rising in aggression and volume as Kurt rips off the first few buttons of Dave's chequered shirt and viciously sinks his teeth into the right-angle where the shoulder meets his neck. '_And...er...yeah...what was I _thinking_?...seriously, I don't give a fuck what I'm thinking! Not when Kurt's scraping his teeth down my chest, his tongue on my... oohhhh. Focus! Can't blow early. Was thinking...I think..._FUCK_! s-so happy he is a man and has man feelings. And man junk.'_

The lift pinged. Kurt detached his mouth from the process of rolling Dave's nipple with his tongue and teeth. He removed, with difficulty, the nails he'd dug deep into Dave's padded shoulder; his fingers stiff and jerky from the pressure applied. Ever the one for keeping up appearances, Kurt straightened up and swept a hand through his hair. He exited the lift in an effortless cool which seems intrinsic to his very being. A mildly disinterested expression graced his face as he left a flustered and wide eyed Dave gripping the sides of the tiny elevator for support as his legs bent and threatened to collapse on him. Hair mussed and shirt partially torn; it showed one nipple raw and bloated, whilst the other was rather a strange looking and an unevenly small bud. All in all, he made a curious spectacle for the couple with a small toddler that were just about to walk up to the lift.

"Daddy," Dave heard the girl squeak in the worst attempt for a whisper ever, "it looks like he's been attacked by a bear. Daddy!" she gasps and tugs on her dad's shorts "what if there's a bear in the lift! Daddy check!" The girl whimpered and stood a little more behind her dad as Dave stumbled out, crashing into the side of the door and staring at the flex of Kurt's back. He looked down at the girl who was peering up at him with so much interest; she had edged out from the protection of her dad's legs to get a better look. Smirking, he mumbled the words close to her head; "I am the bear, kid" and flashed a coy grin down at a trembling face which was now completely covered by small chubby hands. He briefly considered the fact that he may have unintentionally caused a girl to be permanently afraid of elevators and shrugged to himself _'Meh, she could use the exercise.'_

With that, he straightened up and tried to walk to his room without tripping over his feet too much.

* * *

><p>The cold breeze of air conditioning caressed Dave's still wet nipple which was sucked to bruised tenderness by Kurt and aroused Dave's groin. The moistness of Kurt's saliva caused the air to feel ice cold against his skin and the goose bumps that rose on his boiling nipple only added further to that blissful arousal.<p>

He found Kurt sauntering lioness-like towards him as his slender fingers undid one by one the pearly white buttons of his top, revealing only the barest hint of skin between the pieces of cloth. The partial glimpses of hunted flesh were maddening. A growl began to form in Dave's throat.

The sound of an old fashioned phone call screeched through the room and shattered the silence like a sledgehammer would do a wine glass.

Skype.

"Oh crap." Instantly, Dave had that guilty school boy expression back on his face. He ducked his head and put on a small smile along with the cutest face he had, as Kurt turned from the laptop and stared at him with one irritated eyebrow raised, "I err... must have forgot to switch that off while you were umm... busy in the shower." '_That's right Dave; act casual. Kurt need never know. Remember: you're a smooth operator.'_

Kurt inspected Dave's face as he raised one eyebrow and replied with a trace of contempt; "really David: porn?"

"No!" Dave yelped out instantly before he cast his eyes downwards in panic. A small, playful smile curled upon his lips, as he corrected; "...maybe." '_Yeah, real smooth Dave.' _

"Kurt, babe, you've got to understand: you left me so hard this morning you could've hung your big ass suitcase off of my dick and it still wouldn't have gone down! ...'sides it doesn't even matter anyway" he scuffed the floor with his foot "they'd blocked all the sites I like, so I had to handle my problem myself as _someone _was a meanie this morning." '_Oh my God, stop! What the hell is wrong with you! Ever heard of keeping your gob shut? Why don't you just go ahead and tell him you like to traumatise little kids too! I don't even know why I bother. Remember that gun? Yeah? Well forget about shooting yourself in the foot, you've just blown your whole leg off. Asshat.'_

Dave continued on regardless of his brain telling him to shut the fuck up and glared at Kurt; arms crossed with a mixture of childish stubbornness and remembered disappointment. "Technically it's all your fault, you know. Cos afterwards, it didn't even matter I'd just jerked off because as soon as I did, _you_ came out with just a towel on and all that water dripping off your body and suddenly, I had the irrepressible urge to lick you dry..." '_Wait, what? Where did THAT come from? Filter damn it! Filter! This is SO not the right time for your porn star thoughts.' _"...collecting those droplets one by one as they run down your neck, your back, your-" Dave sighed out and looked longingly at Kurt's torso "chest down to your stomach...I so badly wanted to gather them in my mouth and drink you in; _kiss_ you in. But I knew I couldn't and the denial made me hard. Again."

Kurt's mouth formed a lustful smirk and before he could stop himself, his tongue ran across the sharp points of his teeth, relishing the staccato's of pain on his tip; his body buzzing from Dave's imagery and that physical sensation. "So how did that work out for you?" He goaded. Dave knew that tone in Kurt's voice and took a cautious step closer to him.

"Terribly. I've been rock solid all day. I'm surprised it hasn't dropped off." He took another step forward and bit his lip seductively.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't that, seeing as I do love your dick so-" Skype rang again, halting him mid sentence. Kurt closed his eyes, trying to stay calm and resisting the urge to rip the computer out of the wall jack and mount Dave's gloriously strong body right there "-that's Finn calling and the cock blocker will never give up. And because you haven't signed out, he'll get worried and start to think the worst. Do you remember how long it took me to convince him that this is not 'Taken' and I'm not going to be sold to prostitution, so he doesn't have to do a Liam Neeson to get me back?"

"Yeah, I remember that conversation" Dave laughed, still regretting that his strides didn't make it across to Kurt in time."Did you know that after you spoke, he began to search on Amazon for human French translators?"

"But we're in Italy." Kurt commented, baffled.

"Yeah, _that's_ his only problem."

* * *

><p>Skype buzzed incessantly and Kurt motioned with a turn of the head for Dave to answer. Dave huffed and scrapped the chair out from the bureau while touching the pointer over 'accept video call'.<p>

"- I've clicked it. Now it is not my fault that they don't pick up, and just because they do not, _does not_ mean to say they have been prostituted; though with Kurt's almost perfect complexion and western features, I have gathered from my thorough research, that he would make a bit of money on the black market-"

Dave shifted in his chair and flicked his gaze up to see an outraged expression on Kurt's slack-jawed face. Dave was about to interrupt the stranger on the other end, when Kurt beat him to the punch. Leaning over David's shoulder, he glares directly into the built-in webcam and tenses his fists on Dave's chest; "Excuse me MRS HUDSON! But I would NOT be sold for 'a bit of money' on the prostitution ladder thank-you-very-much!"

"...With my talent, I'd expect millions." He added on.

The couple on the screen jumped up at the unexpected interruption and shot their heads around so fast, there was a good chance of self inflicted whip-lash. "Kurt! I have informed you countless times that for the advancement of my career I have kept my maiden name, and so should be referred to at all times as 'Ms Berry'."

"KURT! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Instantly, the huge, beaming face of Finn Hudson replaces Rachel as she is knocked off the chair to the floor, her comment ignored.

"Yes" Kurt chuckles "I'm alive and my name has _not_ changed to 'Angel Delight' for the whim of some man and his sordid pudding sex fantasy. Well..." he grins and steels a quick glance sideward's to Dave, "if you don't count what happens tonight."

Finn throws puzzled looks between the two men, face frowning in concentration and head turning between them as they were about to exchange a slow kiss. Suddenly Finn is gasping and violently stubbing his finger at his screen; "Dave's...Dave is... Oh my God! He's Kurt's pimp! Oh no! Don't worry Kurt; I've got a translator in my basket. I just need to go to the check out and wait 3 to 5 working days!"

Finn pauses in his rant to narrow his eyes at Dave, his pupils constricting to pins "'I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my brother go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't-'" Finn leans closer to the computer in what is meant to come across as a threatening gesture. Unfortunately, as he was already quite close to the lens, the only sense of fright produced from Dave came from the shocking detail of Finn's unplucked eyebrow. "'-I will look for you, I will find you, and I will k-'"

"Finn, for the last time! You are NOT Liam Neeson!" Kurt burst out, ending Finn's practised monologue and causing the whole of his upset head to appear on screen, wounded eyes and all.

Dave fought to hold back the 'good luck' which was begging to come out.

Instead he opted to take that unbearably distraught expression off Finn's face and reassured him with; "Dude, I'm not pimping Kurt out. I give you my word: _I promise you,_ that as long as we're in Firenze, fuck, as long as I have a breath in my lungs, I will not leave Ku-"

"Bro!" Finn cut in, his face was flushed and eyes bright and the whole 'Dave the enemy pimplord' forgotten; "you never told me you knew _Firenze!_ Dave you HAVE to get me an autograph! Please Dave! The way he galloped in and totally saved Harry from flying dementor Voldemort was AWESOME!"

"Er Finn, Firenze is just what Flor..." Kurt tried.

"Rachel!" Finn swirled around, too caught up in his happiness to hear Kurt. He found her sitting on the floor, still rubbing her shoulder. Pulling her up and locking her in a bouncing hug, he squealed "Davie is going to get me a signed and laminated picture of Firenze! Oh you are the BEST brother-in-law EVER! I love you man!"

"Finn, when David said Firenze, he didn't mean-" Kurt attempted again. However this time, he was stopped from cruelly dashing Finn's hopes by none other than David himself.

"Sure bro, no worries, I'll get you his signature. Me 'n' him are tight. It's kind of a long story, but I somehow ended up being adopted into his clan or pack or gay solidarity group or whatever." He answered, giving Finn a weak, soft smile. Kurt looked sceptically at Dave before he shrugged. He was always pleased, if not a little wary, when he saw his brother and husband getting along, so he didn't push the issue. Truthfully, 'sweet David' made him kind of horny.

"Yes David." Rachel began as Kurt's eyes strayed down to Dave's open shirt; the fine curls of chest hair moving almost imperceptibly as Dave's ribcage fills and releases. "Although I must confess, I have not the slightest idea what my husband is talking about,..."

Kurt trailed his hands off Dave's shoulders and slowly slunk down to the ground, out of the webcam's view.

"...I want to express my deepest admiration for your willingness to retrieve a favour from one of your friends my Finn idolises so much. ..."

Kurt crawled round to the front and kneeled underneath the bureau; his hands sliding up the inside of Dave's cargo shorted thigh, causing the nerves under Dave's skin to jump erratically and his leg to kick out involuntarily, just narrowly avoiding Kurt's stomach.

"...This Firenze fellow must be a good person, as are you David." Rachel concluded with an encouraging smile. Dave let out a rugged and breathy whimper as he tried to keep it together and not howl in the damned woman's face. Underneath, Kurt had undone his zipper and had a firm hold of Dave's cock. The very tip of Kurt's tongue was now lightly grazing up and down the slit, taking up the slight milky discharge which leaked out; teasing him and testing Dave's willpower. The muscles in Dave's neck tensed to the point of popping out as he fought to keep his head from rolling back in pleasure. His hands that griped the sides of the chair ached to fist the soft locks of Kurt's hair as the man flattened and rubbed his tongue against the base of Dave's dick before closing his mouth around the entire, throbbing, protrusion. Dave closed his eyes and arched his lower back as he swallowed a hum of satisfaction and desperately clamped a hand over his eyes.

"-trange coincidence?" The end of Rachel's sentence just managed to raise its head enough out of the background noise to pull Dave's unfocused attention. This was a testament to the amazing talent of her voice if you consider that now; Kurt was furiously sucking the whole of Dave's cock, constricting his throat every so often to build up tight resistance around Dave's dick. So anything that distracted even a morsel of his attention was an extremely impressive feat.

"Huh? What was that...?" Dave asked, not even caring that he sounded like he'd just run the length of Florence. He separated his fingers from his eyes so he could peer out and have the appearance of listening to her; however as if of their own will, his eyes lingered lower and lower down the show going on in his lap. He was to the edge and Kurt could feel it. A smile grew on Kurt's lips as he felt Dave's dick turn even more tense and hot. Speeding up, Kurt let out a guttural moan intended to vibrate the very core of Dave's cock and chuck him over.

"I said that your face is the very face may dads made when I used to surprise video call them on their business trips. You know, that distorted, almost in pain look you have, like you are desperately trying to hold in what you feel inside. Isn't that a strange coincidence? They called it the 'I miss you face'. So in light of that, and because I know you are having the same feelings they had when they talked to me, I would just like to say that I'm flattered, David, and well," she looks up at Finn who has her sat on his lap "Finn and I love and miss you too! I am now going to send you a virtual hug. Just imagine I am right there with you, David. Standing in the room with you. By your side."

* * *

><p>"Wow." Kurt muttered. "That was...seriously impressive." Kurt looked up at David's face which was red and flushed from the forehead down his rough and sweating neck.<p>

"I have never seen a hard-on deflate so quickly. That must be some sort of world record. You didn't even cum in my throat." Whatever disappointment that would have been in Kurt's voice, was completely overshadowed by the laughter he was trying to hold in.

"Yeah, well, the visual of Berry witnessing one of her dad's going down on the other and now standing in the room watching me and saying I love you, kinda has that effect." Dave huffed quietly looking away. "...And you said Finn was the cock blocker."

Kurt buried his face in Dave's thigh and collapsed into a little chuckle of laughter. After he could control himself, Kurt nuzzled his thigh and looked up with a bright glint in his eyes, his irises darker than normal. "Hmm. It just seems that I have to find some other way to get your full, un-distracted attention."

Wordlessly, Kurt crawled out from under the table. Three sets of eyes followed his abrupt return onto screen.

"Hey Kurt! You're back! Cool! Where have you been? We were just telling Dave how much we miss you." Finn filled in eagerly.

"That's nice Finn and I miss you too, but now right David and I have to go." Without another word and with vibrant blue eyes still locked on Dave, Kurt continues to undo the buttons of his shirt. The thin fabric obligingly gliding over his soft, muscular skin as it falls in soft ripples to the floor. Shirt discarded, Kurt moves onto his cream ankle-biter trousers and with Dave's head level with Kurt's groin, it gives Dave a perfect view. The first pop of button is heard and he knows he has David's full attention now.

Finn's face turns confused for a moment before he screams out "Kurt? No! My eyes! Nooo! You're my brother! My eyes! Noooo! They burn!" and for some unknown reason, he covers his ears with his hands; letting the cheesy puffs he was munching fly behind him and smack against the back wall with a crispy thud.

Rachel, on the other hand, continues to look intently at her screen. "Me witnessing my brother-in-laws engaging in the deeply primal act of foreplay until finally, with the anticipation worked to the very limit, it culminates into a raw and passionate consummation right here in front of my eyes? ...This is perfect inspiration for my latest song! Now Kurt, if you could just sidestep to the left-" One click and a black screen ended Rachel's existence from their little world.

Finally Dave could soak up the beauty of Kurt in unadulterated peace. A profound silence swells into the room and it is as if time himself has resolved to tick no more, just to make sure these lovers can love. Taking in this calm, Dave simply lifts his arm up and places his palm on the centre of Kurt's torso. He just moves his fingers, stroking him gently; taking in the feel of Kurt again after hours of skin-to-skin separation, committing that feel to memory once more.

He lets out the breath he's been holding and stands. Closing the distance so that they are only inches apart, Dave still has his head bowed as he watches his palm move against the warm body. He traces the silhouette of Kurt's pecks and abs, only briefly moving his hand away from skin when Kurt's stomach visibly trembles at Dave's soft touch there. He looks softly up at Kurt's eyes. The walls and bravado are gone and all that is left is a quiet vulnerability. Kurt's eyes are fixed on Dave's face, he watches with an intense, unblinking heat; assuring silently that he won't take Dave's raw defencelessness, rip it out and use whatever's left of it as a new skin for his next man bag. Dave presses their bodies closer. Clothed rubbing against unclothed.

Using the most minute of movements, Dave draws his head closer to Kurt's and concentrates only on how the heat of their breaths clash and fold into one another as they are brought closer. Their lips have just made that first connection; it is perhaps only one molecule of tender wet flesh against another, but already Dave's eyes have melted and his eyelids find it impossible to stay open, no matter how much he wants to drown in Kurt's features. Kurt leans up to the touch and exhales in a silent moan. Dave breaths it in as if Kurt was blowing back the smoke of a joint; filling his lungs with that intoxicating toxic, as the kiss is finally made.

After that first, filthily clean kiss, cruel time seems to get bored of the lovers and regains its normal speed. The kisses deepen quickly as their tongues thrust for power and Kurt's nimble fingers aim for Dave's shirt. Stumbling backwards, Kurt slides his hand into the back pocket of Dave's cargo shorts, squeezing his firm ass. Kurt's face breaks into a goofy smile against David's lips as he goes in to steal another kiss; pleased in the fact that he knows his husband so well. He pulls out the condom Dave had hidden in his pocket this morning just as his legs slam against the back wall- over shooting the distance to the bed by a foot. Hearing the squeak of condom wrapper, Dave wickedly thrusts against Kurt's naked cock; the rugged friction of the shorts against his soft skin makes Kurt's ass clench as he lets out a wanton groan. That noise from Kurt is enough to make Dave's cock turn from semi hard to concrete and that's not including what effect Kurt running his nails down Dave's bare chest has done. Dave counters by violently twisting their bodies toward the general area of the bed and crushing Kurt between his unyielding body and the bed sheets, rubbing his clothed erection against Kurt's in a fast but disjointed pace; making sure he doesn't build up enough rhythm to allow Kurt to come, but having just enough friction to turn his lover into putty in his dominating hands. Kurt's hands search listlessly for Dave's belt and are soon tugging his boxers and shorts down, which Dave kicks to the floor.

The heat of full skin contact causes Kurt's breath to catch and he reaches blindly above his head for the fuck load of lube they store up on the bedside table. He clasps his hand around one of the not empty bottles just as Dave is creating a hickey near the back of Kurt's neck, pairing it close to the other love bite Dave had made yesterday: creating a fuzzy infinity sign. Dave draws back from his task and studies his work. It gets the seal of approval with a lick and one soft trace around the outline with the tip of his tongue. Kurt's breath is in shreds as he keeps a hand fisted in Dave's hair, clenching and unclenching erratically. He can just open his eyes enough to bring the condom up to his teeth and then fumbles his hands down Dave's tort body to his cock. Gripping his cock, Kurt barely has time to roll the condom down to Dave's base before his hands seize up and clamp themselves onto the sides of Dave's thighs. Kurt's grip tightens on his skin as a lubed finger runs from the dimples in his lower back, down along the crease of his ass. Dave's finger circles Kurt's entrance a few times before he shallowly dips a forefinger in. Kurt's body spasms with the feeling.

Dave quirks his eyebrow and a dark smirk passes across his face; "Fuck Kurt. A plug?" A shiver burns down the length of Dave's naked spine as he toys with the plug inside. "You have no idea how fucking hot I find that."

Dave bites down hard on Kurt's blossoming lips and then scratches his teeth across Kurt's chin down to his neck.

Kurt barely makes out; "I had a feeling today was going to end up like this, so I thought I'd save some time. You always forget we have lube in the shower" before a drawn out, husky moan escapes as Dave pushes the plug deeper into Kurt before leisurely dragging the plaything out.

Dave does not immediately replace Kurt's absence with his cock, but mulls over what Kurt had just said, taking his time applying lube onto his swollen dick and lining it up with Kurt's muscle. "If you were planning for sex, then why did we have to go to out?" He grins and deliberately pauses just as his tip is about to breach skin.

Kurt readjusts his position under Dave, trying futilely to get that cock even an inch deeper into his hole. Giving up with a frustrated cry, Kurt snaps his eyes open and scoffs "You're telling me my game didn't drive your dick wild? I just killed two horny birds with one stone- I wanted to see the sights and you, well, let's just say no hound can out run you when you pick up the scent of a chase."

Dave thought about this for a moment as Kurt removes his hands from Dave's thigh, leaving faint red impressions on the skin, and rubbed his palms roughly against his face. Dave huffed out a laugh and slammed his dick into Kurt's unsuspecting hole. Kurt let out a strangled howl as his fists clenched and his hips bucked up to the thrust. "You're something else Kurt. Fucking deranged perhaps, but _God! _How you know me."

Articulacy had long been thrown out of the window as Dave continued to pound his body into Kurt and Kurt continued to match Dave's thrusts against his own. This intense rhythm was enough for them both to reach their climaxes soon. An unbearable heat started to build low in Kurt's stomach and he slid his body up against David, moaning and bringing his hands up to fist at the back of Dave's neck. Kurt used all his muscles to wrench his lover's head down and dominate Dave's mouth with a sloppy, half formed kiss as he came. With one last jolt into Kurt's prostate, Dave milked Kurt dry as his sticky liquid coated their chests. The sudden slick heat between them and Kurt's hole constricting and relaxing in a post orgasm shock caused Dave's release to follow pretty much immediately. With a roar chocked by Kurt's mouth; which refused to release Dave's lips, Dave filled both condom and hole in an uncomfortable tightness.

Collapsing to the side of Kurt before his arms gave out, Dave gently pulled his dick out and tied up the condom; chucking it into the waste paper bin they kept near. After cleaning their chests with a stray comforter and a few minutes of just trying to get their breathing back to a moderate pace, Dave twitches his leg and stirs. He looks over to Kurt who still has the post orgasm glow and slides an arm under the small body. Kurt curls up close against Dave in a half spooning, half lying directly on top position.

"Remind me again why I didn't just pin you down to the bed this morning?" Dave murmured into Kurt's hair; the lust even now coating his vocal chords and colouring all he says.

"Because you love me." Kurt sighed absently against Dave's deliciously pumped up bicep. He ran his lips along the arm and left stray kisses on the contours; which were larger and more defined due to their recent physical exertion. Kurt could spend all day kissing up and down those gorgeous arms. In fact, Kurt has spent a whole day just kissing those arms.

"Riiigghhtt. Remind me to stop falling in love with you, that way I might be able to get some of _that_ more often; the Fury can't bear to be out of action for long periods." Dave grinned wolfishly and tore his eyes away from Kurt's lips to look hopefully into his eyes.

Kurt turned in Dave's embrace so that he was facing his husband; his legs on either side of Dave's thigh, serving as an anchor so he wouldn't slide off. Just because Kurt's leg happened to brush against Dave's dick was a complete coincidence, of course. Kurt smiled tenderly up at David, his fingertips mapping out the lines of Dave's eye, before kissing his lips and quipping "After seeing you reaction to little ol' Rachel, I think 'furious' is hardly the right adjective sweetheart... maybe if it was 'furiously dissatisfying', it might work."

"Hey! The Fury is awesome babe! Now, do I need to serenade you to remind you how well it works?" he wiggles his eyebrows and licks the underside of Kurt's jaw; "do I have to start singing Bruno mars on your ass?" He places his mouth against Kurt's trachea as he speaks, voice vibrating past Kurt's own vocal chords and to the back of his throat.

"But David..." Kurt said sweetly, trying hard to not snort at the literal image created in his mind of Dave singing right into Kurt's hole or concentrate too much on how his brain is melting from the sweet caresses of Dave's. Kurt starts to innocently outline a circle on the top corner of Dave's chest with his forefinger. "I don't think I'm comfortable with you catching a grenade for me and we're already married so I don't really want to elope with you; that just seems a bit like bigamy-"

"N!- Kur!-Why would I sing that to you! " Dave exclaimed and paused from kissing a line from the tendon in Kurt's neck to his supple earlobe and craned his neck to look at Kurt's face. He tried again with a desperately serious look "the _other _one."

Kurt titled his head in fake thought for a moment before he screwed his face up in mock disgust; loving the gloriously sweet satisfaction of teasing Dave "Jesus David! You expect me to watch you turn on the T.V and throw your hand in your pants because you're so lazy! Well that's just swell."

"Fucking hell. I wish I never started this now!" Dave whined, banging his forehead repeatedly into Kurt's shoulder. "No. I meant the 'just the way you are' song. You know: The one most douche's sing to their women to get them in the sack. That one. The romantic one."

Kurt paused, his eyes fixed on one of the recessed ceiling lights, eyebrows knitted. He placed one hand on his naked hip and the other hand he used to tap his index finger on his lips. Dave followed both movements with hunger and began to plant his kisses, starting from Kurt's shoulder, so that they stalked liked specially trained army men, ever so closer to his lover's lips. Dave swallowed the excess saliva forming in his mouth as his swollen lips connected to the edge of Kurt's. "Finn sang that song to me, you know?" Kurt mused aloud.

Dave froze in his tactical advance and leaned over Kurt. "What! I _knew _something funky went down when you two shared a house in high school! I just knew it. God damn it! Can _no one_ resist Mr Finn 'every particle of my being is so bloody adorable, I even shit kittens' Hudson?"

"First of all, ew." Kurt couldn't hold back shuddering violently under David's arm "the mental images you've given me have scarred the walls of my skull forever. And secondly: what do you mean that _no one _can resist him? Not even you, David? Not even my loving, sexy _husband?_" The challenge in Kurt's voice was thick with humour.

"Dude" Dave held the palm that was not safely tucking Kurt against his body, upwards and stared for a long moment into Kurt's eyes; "I'm only a mere mortal!"

"I mean," Dave continued "How can you say no to a face that's asking if I could bring him back a signed picture of a mythical centaur from a book of fiction? Or when he says 'hey bro, will you do a socially suicidal zombie dance in front of hundreds of people for me?' Some part inside of me goes all gooey and I end up saying 'aw shucks, even though I'm shit scared of what people will think, anything for you Finn; shall we do a warm up number too?...and I don't even mind if you kick me in the nuts, as long as you have that 'I'm blown away by you' expression on your face while you cripple me'. Or when he creeps, like a ninja who got kicked out of basic training the first day, into our room at 3am and looks at me with those pleading lost puppy eyes asking 'hey Davie, I know it's the middle of the night and you guys have only just arrived for the holidays a couple of hours ago, but I was watching 'Worlds Most Cutest Animals' on Discovery when the telly just went blank. I think it's something to do with the rain outside. Will you climb out onto the roof and put the satellite back up? You're the only person I can ask who's strong and clever about this sort of stuff. Well, you and Dad; but he's scary when it turns night time. Please Davie? Pleeease?' And the only thing I think about is that he said I'm strong and clever, so before I realise it, I'm out on their roof holding a long metal conductor. In the rain. During an electrical thunderstorm. The guy is irresistible I tell you! I call it the 'Finn effect.'"

"And I thought I was the one who had the crush on him."

Dave settled back down on to the pillows, arranging Kurt back against him. "...if only he were gay" Dave sighed, trying to keep a straight face. His deadpanning didn't last long, however, before he fell into deep, husky laughter as Kurt thwacks got progressively harder. Dave was still laughing as he used his weight to balance on top of Kurt again and restrained Kurt's dangerous hands with both of his. Bending lower, Dave brushed his nose against Kurt's and whispered just millimetres from his mouth "Now Kurt, violence is never the answer. Do you want me to tell people that you don't play well with others?"

Kurt growled and bit David's lips into his mouth, sucking on it fiercely with an anger that was only playful. Dave let out a quiet whimper as Kurt wrenched his lips away from the man "I play with others just fine, David. Now." He sniffed haughtily but then gave Dave a mellow, shy smile; enjoying the scratching of Dave's stubbled cheek, abrasive against his own lips "How would you like to meet Angel Delight?"

Dave cocked his eyebrow and smiled devilishly, dipping down for another kiss. _'My honeymoon is fucking perfect!'_

* * *

><p>A set of small, girly feet hovered and paced outside the door. These little, trembling shoes were closely followed by what could only be the gait of the housekeeper. Her strut was resolved and you could clearly tell she was livid.<p>

Fuming the words "bear" and "elevator", the housekeeper pounded upon the door.

Wide, golden eyes gazed down to his lover with that signature guilty-but-secretly-pleased school boy expression. Dave managed to steal a cheeky kiss from the other man, before his body was lobbed off the bed with an 'Ompf'.

Dave groaned and rolled on the floor, his head still muggy from kissing _'well...almost fucking perfect.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Hey! Well, that's it for 'Florentine Heat'. <strong>

**I would love to know what you think- like it, loathe it, don't think anything of it: review it.**

**I am never fully satisfied with my sex scenes; I always find the bits before hotter than the actual thing, but *shrugs* I hope the story generally made you laugh and feel just...well...happier!**

**So, this is Awkward re-reading that last sentence and thinking 'you retard'. **

**Arrivederci my groovy Gleeks!**


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